We thought our only final option was IVF but thankfully it wasn’t…..
Like a lot of people I know we put off trying to conceive until we were “ready” and by being ready I assumed I would get pregnant straight away as we had made this decision. We were both 36. We tried for 6 months and due to our age decided to go to a fertility clinic straight away to get tested. We had a lovely doctor who took us through the various tests and checks and the recommendation was to do a course of TSI (timed sexual intercourse). 5 cycles later and 16 months we were still not pregnant.
I had a laproscopy and a hystocopy to check myself out further and all looked clear and well. One of the tests that came back showed I had a highly elevated percentage of these Natural Killer cells (attack the embryo) and a medicinal mushroom called Mesima had a high success rate of reducing the cells. I took these mushrooms religiously for a few months – my levels had come down to a near perfect level but there was still no positive test.
At this stage I was focusing day in day out on when I would be ovulating, obsessing over the ovulation sticks, on a complete low when the test was negative for two weeks and living in hope for two weeks that I would be pregnant. I googled all day and night long as if google would tell me the answer. Eat more beetroot – you’ll get pregnant… sounds crazy looking back but I was trying to control the whole process. I would beat myself up day in day out wondering why I wasn’t pregnant yet. I felt disconnected from everyone, I felt so alone and I was miserable. I also assumed it was all my fault and that my husband was perfect.
A friend had told me about Siobhán and to give her a go but because I went to a fertility clinic and I did do acupuncture I just didn’t want to go see yet another person, confuse everything and tell me what I wasn’t doing right to get pregnant. Eventually I decided I needed to do one last thing before we tried IVF as I knew with my anxiety over it I would find IVF extremely difficult in not obsessing over everything.
I was told you need to have an open mind when you meet Siobhan and to let go of expectation and just go with the process as I had heard she looks at your tongue and just “knows” what the issue is. What I instantly loved about Siobhan was she focused on both of us as a couple – it wasn’t just me or just my husband but it takes two people to make a baby and all I had done was focus on myself thinking I was the issue based on the language used by the fertility clinics.
She knew we both had auto immune issues, she could read my partners results differently from the fertility clinic to see there was a potential issue. So now we knew to focus on both of ourselves but in focusing in on ourselves she taught us much more. It wasn’t just eating a certain food, or a vitamin but body, mind and wellbeing combined together is what matters. It sounds great but letting go and trusting in nature is really really hard when you have been focused on getting pregnant for 18-20 months. Everything she said made sense but it took a while to actually let go and trust in her process. After 3 months I became impatient with the process and I wanted to do IVF but my husband thankfully persuaded me to give the entire process a go, that this isn’t a quick fix to get pregnant but it’s a longer process for the mind and body to heal. I also talked to Siobhan about it and she set me back on track.
5/6 months into Siobhán's process we were pregnant. My first positive test in 2 years. I know it is easy to say but when I got pregnant it truly was a time in my life where I was relaxed, I was happy and I was trusting in myself, my body and the entire process. She didn’t just teach lessons and give advice for getting pregnant but lessons that go beyond getting pregnant into being a parent and for your wellbeing for life. Siobhan was so kind and generous in the time she gave us, I will be forever grateful. It wasn’t easy trusting in Siobhan due to the nature of the process of letting go and choosing a balance in your life but if it wasn’t for this time I don’t think I would be as ready and able to be the type of parent I want to be and for the life lessons I want to teach my beautiful daughter, Liv i.e. self care, self compassion, love and patience.
Claire and Ed Molloy, Glenageary, Dublin
October 2021